This weird monstrosity is the Penthouse watch phone. It’s creators claim that it is the “smallest” watch phone available, which is, as we see, a lie. It’s not even smaller than the crazy Kempler & Strauss W Phone, another good idea gone bad.
What’s worse, this has nothing to do with Penthouse, which was my favorite magazine to furtively look at when my parents went out of the house!
The phone is available here for about $113 and at least it has real buttons as opposed to on-screen abominations. Regardless, don’t be tempted. You’ll just cry.