In Communist Russia, air force makes snow fall on outskirts of town

The Mayor of Moscow, Yury Luzhkov, will seed clouds around the city in order to encourage them to dump their frosty white payloads in the outskirts, thereby sparing the lives of thousands of hard-core city-dwelling Russian drunks and making it easier for the Mercedes and BMWs go to and from the apartments of plutocrats to the Gucci store. Drunks and plutocrats on the outskirts are SOL.

Luzhkov also believed that he could reverse the course of the Ob River through Siberia (it didn’t work) but is sure that the mist he will spray into gathering winter clouds will save the city $6 million in snow clearing fees and will presumably give the farmers around Moscow more moisture over the year.

“You know how every year on City Day and Victory Day we create the weather?” Luzhkov asked a group of farmers outside Moscow in September, according to Russian media reports. “Well, we should do the same with the snow! Then outside Moscow there will be more moisture, a bigger harvest, while for us it won’t snow as much. It will make financial sense.”