Two Boston-area magicians involved in bar brawl, each sustains massive loss of hit points


Straight out of my neck of the woods here in the Boston area, the Cambridge Chronicle is reporting that two magicians “conjured up a bar brawl” this past weekend. Apparently one magician went into a bar (this sounds like a setup to a bad joke) and said to another magician, “Hey I know you from the magician store.”

After that, all hell broke loose for some reason as the man from the magician store head-butted the first magician, who then punched the guy from the store several times. Now, two magicians fighting; that’s pretty funny. The way the reporter for the Cambridge Chronicle reports the event; even funnier. Here are some excerpts…

“The witching hour struck Central Square last weekend after an alleged pair of magicians conjured up a bar brawl.

Police were called to break up the wizardry-infused clash at the Middlesex Lounge — not to be confused with Middle Earth — June 15 at 1:34 a.m….

…The Woburn magician refused medical attention, but no amount of abracadabras could vanish the several head bumps and swollen nose he suffered during the fight, according to reports…

…A 26-year-old South Boston woman suffered a red left eye after she was punched during the wizardry melee. It was unclear if the woman was part of either man’s act.”

Man, I gotta see this bar. Maybe I can catch a scuffle between two trapeze artists or something. It’d be like a ninja fight but with even MORE flipping around.

Hocus pocus! Magicians war in barroom brawl [Cambridge Chronicle]

Behind the Scenes CrunchBonus!!!

Here’s a conversation that took place in our chat room concerning this post, which was originally (erroneously) titled “Magicians sustain massive hit points in bar brawl”.

Devin C.


strictly speaking, you don’t "sustain" hit points

damage maybe but you lose hitpoints

if i didn’t say it, some other pedant would

Nicholas A.

yes, a devin sockpuppet would

Devin C.

please, it’s a live-action plush role-playing hand character

Matt H.


the hit points are both what you lose and what’s inflicted upon you

Devin C.

but they aren’t "sustained"

nono…. matt, I’d say that a weapon does 1d4 hit points *worth* of "damage"

Doug A.

okay, pipe down nerds.

I changed it to “inflict”

because they beat the hell out of each other

Devin C.


Doug A.

and they are both magicians

Devin C.

they’re going to tear you apart

oh – "sustain massive hit point loss"

Doug A.


“Magicians lose massive hit points during bar brawl”

Matt H.


and they don’t have many to start with

unless you’re some level 20 mage

Devin C.


the loss is massive

hit points aren’t massive

Doug A.

we only have 52 minutes!!! [until the post goes live]

Devin C.

"Magicians sustain massive hit point loss during barroom brawl"

Doug A.

“Magicians: Massive loss of hit points during bar brawl”

“Magicians sustain massive hit point loss during barroom brawl”

good, done

Matt H.

they wouldn’t have massive amounts to lose, I mean

Devin C.

in real life pretend, yeah

or rather in real life pretend real life

but this is in just pretend pretend real life