FiOS quite possibly maybe coming to New York at some point soon

Verizon released some b-roll of FiOS being prepared in New York with the promise that as soon as “city officials” approve of the service we’re going to get some sweet, sweet downstream speed. Until FiOS arrives in your area, however, Verizon suggests doing one or more of the following:

1. Reorganizing your wallet.
2. Finally calling the 311 on the man who keeps putting his Christmas Tree out in February and getting needles all over your stoop.
3. Cutting your fingernails on the train.
4. Walking angry.
5. Visiting your aged mother upstate.